If you weren’t raised by my parents…I hate you.

My sister and I say this all the time. If you weren’t raised by Scott and Sandy (who are saints) then theres a high possibility that we hate you. Okay, maybe hate is a strong word, even I don’t like to use it that much. We don’t necessarily “hate” you but we definitely can’t stand interacting with you. Fortunately for some of you though, we have found that similar parents do exist. Its rare, but possible.

Here’s why we think this: Other parents didn’t teach their children to not be total idiots. Like life really isn’t that hard if you are some what a normal person. Here are some criteria for owning life and not being an idiot…

1. Don’t get addicted to drugs or alcohol. And don’t “casually” do drugs. Simple right? You’d be surprised though. Remember, people are dumb.

2. Do stuff. Don’t sit at home, or on the beach or in front of a weird, creepy porno site instead of going to school or getting a job. Get your out of shape butt up and just do stuff. Have faith that you can and move (James 2:18).

3. Be efficient. One thing my parents always taught me was to be on time and to do things right. They were never about doing things the easy way just to get it done. Do it right the first time so it’s the only time you have to do it. Oh and if you are late to ANYTHING, its the end of the world and you are automatically the most rude person ever. I just always thought Sandy was a total drama queen about that. But as many of us twenty-somethings are painfully starting to realize, our mother’s were right. They were right about just about every little annoying thing. Well, if you were raised by Sandy and Scott that is.

4. Have common sense. This is the hardest one for a lot of people. This one also covers a lot of ground. For instance, it takes common sense to know that you shouldn’t spend your rent money on a new dog or it’s stupid to chase after an older guy when he doesn’t have a stable job and lives with his mom still.

Don’t get me wrong, I love you all as brother’s and sister’s in Christ. I also know that there is no way that Scott and Sandy could have raised my sister and I so well without the grace of God (my sister required more grace). I just really pity everyone that didn’t have as great as parents as I did. Take my advice and do everyone a favor…stop being an idiot.


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